What If We Told You, Your Sexual Practice Could Become a Spiritual Practice?
Sex: We love it. We can't stop thinking about it. We go out out of our way to have it. We let it alter how we dress, act, eat and live.
And if SEX has this much power over you? What is sex doing for you? What is it's purpose? What exactly are you getting out of it?
What if I told you, that your sexual practice could become a spiritual practice? A practice that could produce that same blissful state that you feel in yoga, meditation, dance, nature or an intense physical exercise class...? Interested?
It's quite obvious that from the dawn of time, people have been having sex, and lots of it, for all sorts of reasons. Sex is a basic human need, and just like any basic human need, we can approach it as a higher consciousness practice or a lower consciousness practice. It's all about the intention behind said practice that makes it healing, or hurtful.
So the question is, how and why do you do the deed?
Let's first talk about a lower consciousness sex practice -- the shadow side of sex. This can look like pornography, addiction, ego, power, abuse, promiscuity, and repression. Basically, any time sex is used, in a way, as a result of an emotional distortion.
Now, let's take a look at a higher consciousness sex practice -- the light and love of sex. This looks like intimacy, connection, meditation, prayer, spirituality, love, creation, commitment and expansion. Any time sex is expressed from a higher heart state.
Sex can create anything and everything you want. It can be a very powerful way to connect with your partner, your higher self, and a much greater purpose (such as, bringing another life into this world). It can -- and is meant to be -- sacred.
As humans, we are wired to connect. Wired to connect with each other and our creator. We crave awakening experiences outside of the thinking-mind that bring us deeper into the unseen. When we connect, we tap into the vital life-force that exists in all things. It is in this place where we feel the most alive. Your sex practice can bring you there...
NEWS FLASH: sacred sex is not boring. In fact, when sex becomes a sacred spiritual practice, it transforms into the most electric, magnetizing, transformative, ecstatic, orgasmic and other worldly thing you can do. Way, WAY better than your average A+B=C roll in the hay. Why? Well, because when we move into our deepest elevated self, we enter into the Real. And the Real is where we get all our energy from -- it is our source, and it is our forever. Real is authenticity and truth. Authenticity and truth are way hotter, more wild, passionate, free, connective and sexy than any fleeting fantasy could ever be. I realize how bold of a statement that is, however...
When sex becomes a sacred act, it opens the doors of intimacy to us and our partner. We begin to let go of the ego and the personality. Time, space and thoughts are suspended in motion, as the feeling of Oneness with all things floods the body, mind, heart and spirit.
My prayer for you, and all beings, is that we no longer live a life of fragmentation. That we no longer compartmentalize our selves and our deepest sexuality to fit into a societal box. Embrace your sexuality as a direct expression of your spirituality and let it flow. Offer your love practice up as a prayer for all beings to remain illuminated and free.
Here's few DIY sacred sex practice tips to try out at home:
- Set an intention behind the act.
- Make sex a ritual. Add candles, coconut oil, sage, music, chocolate, wine....whatever tools help create a space for you to drop into the spiritual realm.
- Connect eyeball to eyeball (this practice is not about "checking out”, its about “checking in” to your partner).
- Sync your breath with your partner; breathing together allows you to move together and create a shared experience.
- Take your time to connect. Connecting deeply takes time. Do not rush. Take pleasure in worshipping and exploring every inch of each other as you move from your “day” mind to your spiritual mind.
- Make it an honor to fulfill your partners deepest desires. Sex creates another opportunity to truly be of service to another. Just like meeting your partners emotional needs, a good sexual partner looks at making love as another way to be of service to their beloved.
- Throw out the agenda. This is not about getting your partner to climax in under 5 minutes. This is about the journey, not the finish line. It takes time to reach sexual enlightenment! Remember, its easy to approach sex as a routine and use the same techniques that you have been using since high school. But don't you think it's about time you gained some new techniques, and ramped up your sexual tool belt? Study what turns your partner on, and make a point to master it.
- Most importantly...keep it fun! Laugh, play, adventure and be in the moment of magic. Making love is a muscle. The more you do it, the better you get at it and the stronger your connection to your partner will become.
*On March 6-12, Jaycee and Ksenia Avdulova are hosting a goddess retreat in the vibrant tropical sanctuary that is Ilha Grande, Brazil, to explore joyful movement of the body, the healing nourishment of (Sakara!) superfoods, magical power through ritual, and sweet connection to mother Earth. Expect to connect ancient female wisdom, honor you inner Goddess and elevate every aspect of being fully alive. There are still spots left, so if you wish to join, check out the retreat website for more.