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Coffee Vs. Masturbation: The Truth Behind Your Energy Source

When 3pm hits, and you’re beginning to completely crash face first onto your keyboard, remember: you are not a Tesla. You are not a machine. There’s more to your inner energy current than that which a strong cup of joe can provide.  Fun fact: you’ve got something super cool, and super important inside you called adenosine. Ever heard of it? Adenosine receptors play an important role in your biochemical processes, such as energy transfer and something called signal transduction (which is basically your body’s way of making sure that all cells are responding properly). What you’re feeding your cells with directly affects how they metabolize, shape themselves, express genes, and whether or not they divide properly (which of course, you want them to do). Every moment that you’re awake, the neurons of your brain are working hard for you. As they work, they produce adenosine as a byproduct. This is what helps to control your sleep/wake cycle. When your adenosine levels reach a certain point in the brain, your body will start nudging you towards sleepy time. And when you’re sleepy, what do you do? Most of us drink coffee. When you drink that morning, mid-day, or afternoon cup of joe, you’re feeding your body with a mean dose of what we’ll call an adenosine impersonator. That cup goes right to the adenosine receptors already present in your brain, and because of how similar it is, your body accepts it as the real thing. That cup is also interacting with the dopamine (aka the feel-good neurotransmitter) already present in you. When your brain’s adenosine is being blocked by caffeine, the dopamine system begins to fire, eventually reaching depletion. What’s more, is elevated levels of adenosine in the blood cause your adrenal glands to release adrenaline (aka the stimulation hormone). When all caffeine has finally exited your body, your brain floods with adenosine (remember higher levels mean more sleepy), and your dopamine is now being repressed. This is, scientifically, what it means to have a caffeine “crash”. And if all of this has been proven true, in a lab, by scientists much smarter than I, then we must accept the fact that the cup of joe we got ourselves addicted to isn’t as sustainable as we’d once hoped. But what is more sustainable? What can we to do recharge? How can we use what’s already present within us, without the stimulation of an imposter? Enter: Masturbation. There’s no denying that reaching climax feels better than a cup of coffee. And unlike coffee, masturbation is good for your adrenals, because it releases all kinds of feel-good friends to the brain. Friends like dopamine - without having to be repressed - and serotonin. Both of which leave you with a sustained, joyful energy and overall sense of balance. Climax turns your adrenals on (pun intended) without shocking them to the point of fatigue. After you masturbate, watch and take note of the innate flow of energy you're being fueled by. Use the energy already present within you, and let it all go through a cosmic climax that ignites every cell of your being. Build it all up, and release it all out. Too much coffee dehydrates you, wares on your adrenals, and leaves you irritated and dry. Climax keeps you hydrated, glowing, juicy, and alive. It helps every cell in your body come to fruition, via an inherent energy charge; nothing fake, no imposters here. There is no denying that climax feels better than a cup of coffee. Any day, any way. And when you don’t always have a partner to get there with, be comfortable enough to do it by yourself. You’ll drink a cup of coffee alone, so why not give yourself permission to do the same here? Take care of yourself, it’s your divine right. Next time you reach for that extra cup of joe, remember how much better it feels to reach climax. Go home, get between the sheets, and recharge your battery. Onto the next baby!  

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