The Experience: The Time I Used Foria aka Marijuana-infused lubricant aka weed lube
Google weed lube. Just go ahead, do it. What I'm about to tell you isn't earth shattering news considering the amount of similar stories, experiences, blog posts, etc... found on the www about the stuff (hey, guy who wrote about his girl having explosive orgasms while sexing with weed lube, yea, I'm excluding you) but what I'm about to tell you is my own highly (get it?) personal account of how I got my vagina stoned.
Receiving weed lube, also known as Foria, in the mail was just about as exciting as using the stuff. I was already feeling charged the day the mail man hand delivered it to our office (ah, the perks of working at Sakara) in it's sleek, small, 'pleasure within' package, and, as a reformed pot-smoker-having-fun to now being a pot-smoker-having-paranoid-no-fun (and, quite frankly, feeling left out about it), I was really looking forward to having my vagina take one for the team. Let me first set the scene with a play by play and then I'll give you my 'professional' opinion on Foria.
I was so pumped about the stuff that I actually set a date on my google calendar and sent my boyfriend the invite. We have a cool sex life but this was the first time we had planned and discussed 'doing it' like it was a trip to Ikea.
After having talked endlessly about using the lube and sending multiple text message reminders about 'tonight being the night,' I actually got a little nervous. Luckily, per the norm for our humble abode, upon arriving home, there was a bottle of rosé chillin' in the fridge and football on the t.v. to really bring me back to reality and settle my nerves. When the last quarter rolled around, I was ready to get sprayed down like windex to a mirror. Having one foot up on a chair with him crouching under me was so un-sexily sexy that I had an outer body experience. Who was this person? I had never before embraced or been so open about my body that I felt like a new woman. The next half hour, while playing the how-high-will-your-vagina-get-waiting-game, was spent laying on the couch, trolling instagram in sweats (me) and chugging rose while watching men fumble around a ball (him). An ed note as to not leave out any details, there was sufficient amount of leg rubbing involved (for me) (by him).
Whether the rosé started to run its course through my blood stream, the excitement of watching Tom Brady throw a pass (lol, jk) or the possibility that my vagina was actually entering a euphoric state, something was definitely happening down there. Now, as awkward as planned sex is, I left my insecurities at the bedroom door and was on a mission. Determination is a powerful thing, it gets you everywhere, and apparently so does weed lube (Foria).
And by the way, having your private parts smell like weed scented coconut oil is pretty hot. If it were a perfume I wouldn't think twice about spraying it all over.
To quote a favorite Seinfeld episode. I went home to my boyfriend, tried weed lube and 'yada yada yada,' woke up really tired the next day.
A few thoughts on Foria... (by me, for you):
- Having someone else spray it on you is half the fun, so don't be shy ;)
- Things will start to tingle all by themselves. Yes... even while watching football and looking through your friend's super exciting food pics on Instagram
- Using Foria gets your vagina high and that's about it, unless you spray some in your mouth which can be done as labeled on the pamphlet (but I didn't partake).
- Everyone seems to come to the same consensus, things feel more intense and localized down there. It probably had a lot to do with mind over matter but I was twice as turned on for an extended period of time when practicing the normal sex stuff we both like (and even after the fact too)
- Coconut oil is an amazing, amazing all-natural lubricant that everyone and their mother should be using
- I wasn't lying when I said your private parts will definitely smell like weed, therefore so will your partner's
- My rating of Foria? Highly recommendable with Two Peace-Signs Way Up ✌ ✌
*(Just an fyi) Never have I ever used the word vagina as many times as I have in this article, but being a 30 year old woman and feeling very scientific about this experiment, I thought I would be mature and speak about the female anatomy in a proper and respectful way.