IS IT OKAY TO BE SEXY AND A MOTHER?
CO-FOUNDER OF SAKARA, DANIELLE DUBOISE, REFLECTS ON THE PUSH-PULL OF DESIRE AND DEVOTION
As a woman, I’m no stranger to reconciling my truth with societal standards. And motherhood is no different, especially when it comes to embracing a new caregiving role while maintaining the person I am, with my own wants and needs.
Lately, I have been asking myself: Is it okay to occasionally prioritize your own pleasure over your child’s? And if so, how often is “OK”? How do we keep a hold of our maiden, sexual selves in the face of motherhood and utter devotion to another human’s needs?
I don’t have the answers, but I can say that when I do dedicate time to feeling like myself—to feeling healthy, empowered, and sexy—I’m a more present mother. There are days where it’s easier to not take my “me-time” and just cuddle up in bed with Star and soften even more into motherhood (trust me, I usually do) but when I sometimes resist the temptation and keep my promise to myself, I notice a difference, not just in myself, but in the energy of the entire family unit. My daughter ultimately wants me to be my most powerful self so that I can help her become her most powerful being.
And that takes dedication and time. I’m here to remind you all (and myself) that it’s our duty to shine our brightest. In fact, the most selfless thing we can do is stand in our power and shine so that we may light the path for others. Here’s to prioritizing pleasure, keeping our fires stoked, and sidestepping the outside pressure to put “mother” into the no-sex bucket and instead, jumping heart first into the pit of desire, mother or not.
Here are some interesting takes on the topic. Share yours with me here @danielleduboise
- The Multiorgasmic Mama Podcast with Lacey Broussard
- How Do We Feel Sexy? With Jillian Lynch, Midwife, Doula, Women's Health Care Advocate
- WomanCode: Perfect Your Cycle, Amplify Your Fertility, Supercharge Your Sex Drive, and Become a Power Source