Creating Your Dream Life With Kamaryn Potter
Everything that you would think about Kamaryn Potter is true. Not only is she beautiful - both inside and out - but she really is as cool as she looks. From her perfectly platinum hair to her envious sense of style, Kamaryn is that girl who just always seems to get it right. The life (and Instagram account) she has created for herself is as exquisitely curated as the images she produces. When we first met Kamarayn Potter on set with FP (she is the Assistant Art Director), the mysterious air she radiated on us was palatable, like that of a cosmically-colored layer cake. We were lucky enough to sit down with her for an afternoon to learn how she has consciously manifested a dream life for herself.
ON LOVE, SEX & COMPANIONSHIP...
What role do relationships play in your life?
I have the closest friendships with my girlfriends. We’re always communicating in some way throughout the day and I feel really lucky to have such a strong support team. When one person wins, we all win. I'm in a new space with friendships and celebrating each other. I was in a relationship the past five years with my boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend now. Navigating that is interesting, especially entering your 30’s too. I feel like you are sorting everything out for the next chapter of your life. It’s like, “That person goes over here. This person has to go away… for now.” It’s kind of like cleaning the house. I’ve had a lot of that recently with friendships and relationships, of people coming back, people going away. It’s this really wild sorting phase. I really like relationships, all different kinds, I’ve gotten really good at them. I like to give, I like to take, I like sharing. I've been rediscovering tarot lately and there's a card called "friendliness" that keeps coming up. There's a deck in tarot called the Osho Zen Tarot, so it's their app from them. It's kind of expensive, it's $10, but it's worth it. It sums up relationships, actually relating, in a lovely way. It’s about what relationships should be. It reads:
“First meditate, be blissful, then much love will happen of its own accord. Then being with others is beautiful and being alone is also beautiful. Then it is simple, too. You don’t depend on others, and you don’t make others depend on you. Then there is always a friendship, a friendliness. It never becomes a relationship, it is always a relatedness.” It makes so much sense.
“You relate, but you don’t create a marriage. Marriage is out of fear, relatedness is out of love. You relate. As long as things are moving beautifully, you share, and if you see that the moment has come to depart because your paths separate at this crossroad, you say goodbye with great gratitude for all that the other has been to you, for all the joys and all the pleasures and all the beautiful moments that you have shared with the other. With no misery, with no pain, you simply separate.”
I think it's perfect.
Is there anything that you feel has helped you achieve that?
Yeah, my therapist (laughs). But in all seriousness, in order to gain anything or to grow, I’ve learned there always has to be a sacrifice. It doesn’t have to be this big dramatic sacrifice, but it can be something or someone internally you’ve identified with that doesn’t serve you anymore, and it’s learning to let go of that in order to grow yourself and become the person you’re supposed to be.
How do you keep these relationships healthy?
I’ve just been trying to surround myself with people who are happy and doing things that make them happy. It’s okay to say no if you haven’t seen someone in a while and they want to hang out with you, kind of like not having to serve everyone all the time, because I do think that energy is contagious. If one person can be sucking it all out of you and leaving nothing for yourself, and they’re not bringing anything good or positive to the table, it’s okay to politely take a break.
With your friends, you always try to be there for them, I think it’s really important. But there can also be a downside and it’s like you become this martyr--you end up suffering for this other person that’s not doing anything for you. You can only try so hard to be there for someone and help them, but if they’re not hearing you or listening to you, I think you just take a break. You just distance yourself. You have to be a strong person. I think it has to do with working on being aware of yourself and aware of others, and it’s not a cold or mean thing. A lot of people aren’t nice to themselves anymore, and you have to be nice to yourself, or else no one else will.
We are really big on mantras and trying to show yourself as much self-love as possible and remind ourselves that we have to do that.
Yeah, I think it’s so important. I’ve always done that. My mom taught me that too, to think positively about yourself and have mantras and set goals. I also do a lot of intentions,, especially with full moons! I won't share my mantras because they’re super personal, but I do have a lot of those. I do give myself little pep talks when I need them. Once you set positive affirmations for you and those around you, it becomes your personal truth, and I think it’s definitely played a role the world I’ve created around myself so far.
Can you tell us a little more about your intentions?
Yeah. I have a therapist who I meet with every two weeks. He lives in LA, he’s amazing. And I’ve never actually been in therapy before, I’ve always wanted to, until about a year ago, and it’s amazing. Everyone should do it. It helps you. With him, he does your natal birth chart and can basically tell you everything that’s going to happen to you in a non fortune teller way. It’s just more like interpreting, “This probably happened here which explains x,y, and z, and this is going to happen around here which can mean a,b, or c” and he doesn’t say exactly what. He prepares you for it and helps you navigate it, which is really cool. I’ve set a lot of intentions with him, to stay on the right path of your life lessons and all that kind of stuff.
Where do you you find it easiest to access your sexual energy?
It could be clothing, or no clothing. Who knows. But also just people. Bodies and minds. People bring those energies out of you. It can almost become a game of what you can get from other people or what you’re willing to give…it’s so new for me because I haven’t been single in years, and this is my first single summer. It took some rediscovering, but it’s there.
Is there a moment that's your favorite?
You know what? Before anything happens is the best. The fantasy is the best part.
ON BODY & FOOD...
What role does food play in your life?
I love food. I grew up with an Italian mother who cooked a lot, like big meals. There was bread and butter on the table every night, which I wish there wasn’t. I wish I was trained younger to eat healthier. We never had a house where we weren’t allowed to eat certain things. The only thing that was off limits was Lunchables… I was really jealous of those kids. We weren’t allowed to have those, because it was "too processed", but then again pasta three times a night, big dinners all the time, bread, pizza. We were allowed to have sugary cereal all the time and just whatever we wanted. We had a lot of freedom. I had to teach myself once I broke away from living at home of what, I guess, is healthier or worked for me. I’m not a big workout person. I walk everywhere, and take classes sometimes and that’s my exercise. I like dancing a lot which most likely helps.
And what about the relationship you have with your body?
I think it’s a good one now. I was always very tall, I mean you can see that I’m tall. I think I was 5’8 already in 7th or 8th grade. I never really compared myself to other girls though. I had two brothers. I didn’t really have another woman body to figure it out. I was just like, “This is me.” My brothers were bigger than me. I don’t obsess over anything. I like food. I grew up, like I said, around so much food. But, I think you just have to be nice to yourself and then your body will be nice to you.
ON THE DREAM LIFE...
What is the end goal for you?
Somehow it’s like all these girls have their dream careers, and I have a dream life that I want. It’s more of how I want to wake up in the morning. I guess it’s the Art Director in me. I dream about how I want to live my life and what it looks like and then create things. That’s what I’ve worked more towards. The job that I have now I love, because I get to work with all of my best friends. We get to hire people that we love working with and meet all these people, (like the girls at Sakara ;) A lot of it is the relationships that you’re creating with people. That, I do think, has a lot to do with my purpose, why I’m here, and relating with other humans. It’s all there for a reason, it’s all happening for something.
Have you always been conscious of working towards this dream life?
It’s always been in my brain. I’ve always had this. I think I work in the fashion business because I’m way better with visuals than words. I think in images. When you asked what my dream life is, I wish that my brain could have a printer and I could just print it out and show you, because I can’t find the words. It has a lot to do with freedom.
I’ve had jobs where I’ve felt like a prisoner chained to a desk and it’s like you’re looked down upon if you go out and get a coffee. I can’t survive underneath that, I freak out, I become a really nasty person. It’s bad. I’ve always known that there was a different way of living, a different way of working, a different way of contributing to the world. I work really hard, I always have and I’m proud of that, but there are different ways of working hard and staying happy. You need to be successful, especially living in the city. If you want to live comfortably, you have to make X amount of dollars, and you have to have health insurance. It’s finding a blend between all of that and the dream life in your brain.
This is another big question. What do you want your legacy to be?
Oh god, I have no idea. My legacy? That’s a tricky one. I have no idea what I want my legacy to be. Something good I hope.